Monday, February 28, 2011

Squeeze My Lemon ~ March 2 Teaser & Pic

Squeeze My Lemon has it's first WOLF lemon this week.
WolfHOOr & niceKittyRAWR get our hearts pumping with this little teaser:
Before I realize what's happening a pair of rough hands grip my hips and pull me back. I gasp in shock just as something covers my eyes. I am now in complete darkness and my heart begins pounding in fear.

Someone followed me?

Someone broke into my room and was waiting on me?

I'm going to die, right here, and no one will ever know what happened. Oh God.

Then one name starts rapidly going through my mind. Jared. I’ll never see Jared again.

Mustering as much courage as possible I whimper out, "Whoever you are, you are going to want to let me go! My boyfriend will literally tear you apart if you touch me. He will find out."

I try to sound menacing and confident but I can hear the fear in my own voice.

Suddenly, I'm surrounded by a clean masculine smell and a pair of lips is next to my ear. He presses his hips against mine and I can feel he’s getting hard. Oh God. No. My body reacts right away, nipples tightening, which I find sickening. Then the intruder growls before speaking.

A gasp flutters from my lips when I hear his words, "I don't think your boyfriend will mind."

Friday, February 25, 2011

Reveiw for Whit Swan Lodge by @JaimeArkin

Summary: . The White Swan Lodge click here to read
Tragedy led her there. Commitment forced him there. Can a place of beauty and solitude hold the fate they were both seeking
Review:  The White Swan lodge tells the story of a travel mag writer (Edward) who is sent to review the White Swan Lodge that was recently taken over by Bella Swan after her mother sufferd a terrible accident and died. The overwhelmed beauty is just starting out when Edward drops in unexpectedly and requests a room. Bella has no idea Edward is there to review her lodge and the two form a fast friendship that quickly turns into something deeper. Edward is a torn individual not quite sure what he wants to with his life and increasingly resents the assignment he has been given by his boss Aro. His resentment grows deeper as their relationship develops and when Bella finds out the truth fireworks erupt and Edward is devastated to have lost her so soon.
Can he win her back and can they help each other find their way through the difficulties life brings?
The White Swan lodge is a sweet, sexy tale of two people coming together in an unexpected way and trying to figure it all out. Bella is capable and strong but vunerable at the same time and Edward is thoughtful, sweet and confused as all hell. These two characters are highly likeable as they have been written. The authors dedication to detail puts you write in the senic surroundings of the Logde and she even has a blog where you can veiw pictures etc (Blog name: Letters from the Lodge)
Other canon characters are also present, Rose and Emmett are guests and Rose is well...Rose. Bella's first real challenge as the proprietor.
The lemons are sweet and sexy without being overly gratuitous. In all this relatively new author deserves all the praise she has received for this story as well as her first shorter story Barely Breathing. click here to read
I am personally looking forward tto seeing how this story ends and what Jarkin33 will bring us next.
I urge you all to check this out...NOW!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011

Squeeze My Lemon ~ Feb. 23 Teaser & Pics

Squeeze My Lemon is happy to have a returning author, Kimmydonn. She is spoiling us this week by bringing not one, but TWO picture prompts.
And here is the teaser: Her head thumped on the tree as she arched back. Her nails dug into my shoulders, as though she feared being washed away. I attacked her neck again, eyes watching the lines on her face come and go as she tensed and released, the ecstatic expressions that crossed her features. She was amazing to watch; something else Emmett always got in the way for. He was so quick to seek his own desire that he didn't stop to watch hers.

I burned where I rubbed against the inside of her thigh, but all my attention was on her breath, coming in pants; her eyes, flicking open between seconds squeezed shut; and her lips, quivering, mumbling and occasionally pulled by her teeth. My release always came quickly, with little effort on either of our parts, but she... she could stay at the edge of it, or reach it again and again.

Picking up speed and moving my hips in time with my hand, I urged her on, knowing she would come for me soon. Foul words fell from her lips, but they sounded like warm honey, dripping sweetly, all vileness gone and only passion remaining.

“I'm going to, I'm going to... Damn!” The last was nearly shouted, though rasped to keep some of the volume out. There wasn't likely anyone to hear anyway.

It was only when I took my eyes from her face that I noticed her dress fallen to her waist and a pair of large hands covered her breasts. Emmett had found us after all, it seemed. He winked at me from around the tree and pinched Esme's nipples, making her cry again.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

Squeeze My Lemon ~ Feb 16 Teaser

Squeeze My Lemon has CitizenCullen25 this week and she has given us the longest teaser we have had to date. Please enjoy:
Tonight, we're the sea and the salty breeze
the milk from your breast is on my lips
and lovelier words from your mouth to me
when salty my sweat and fingertips
Our hands they seek the end of afternoon
My hands believe and move over you
Tonight, we're the sea and
the rhythm there
the waves and the wind and night is black
tonight we're the scent of your
long black hair
spread out like your breath
across my back
Your hands they move like waves over me
beneath the moon, tonight, we're the sea

Sea and the Rhythm-Iron and Wine


While Edward slept, I decided to go outside and enjoy some of the warm Hawaiian sun. My skin didn’t really get dark, but I was developing a nice sun-kissed glow that made me look nice. My little blue bikini, a gift from Alice, barely covered my bottom.

Since we had our own private part of the beach, I took out my top. I thought my breasts still looked pretty good, even though Dante and his daddy didn’t give them much time for recovery. I never dreamed that Edward would find breastfeeding so surprising, but my husband was nothing if not full of surprises.

I turned over on my stomach, remembering how it felt when Edward was inside of me. In only a day, we’d had more sex than some people had all year. Every since I met Edward, I’d felt like there was this fire in my blood, and he was the only one that could cool me.

All of a sudden, a large shadow blocked the heat, making me shiver in anticipation. My center instantly became wet as my pulse sped up. It was the scent. Edward all smelled so damn good.

“Why are you out here alone, babydoll? There are predators all around,” he whispered, licking the shell of my ear.

I whimpered and tried to sit up, but he held me down on the towel. Slowly, he rubbed his big hands all over my exposed flesh, stopping when he reached the swell of my lower back. I struggled even harder, which earned me a smack on the buttocks.

“Let me turn around,” I begged, using all my strength.

Instead of giving me what I wanted, he pulled my hands behind my back. Then, I felt the soft fur of our fuzzy handcuffs encase my wrists. Wantonly, I ground my lower body into the sand. Now that Edward was here, the heat was unbearable.

He pulled off the useless swimsuit bottoms and hit me again. I groaned and pushed my lower body towards him. This time he bit my left ass cheek, sucking the skin when he was done. I felt liquid oozing out of my most sensitive crevice.

“Have you been a bad girl, Bella,” He asked, turning my head so that we were face to face.

I nodded vigorously, knowing that he liked this game. “I’m always so naughty, Mr. Cullen. I touched myself again.”

His clear green eyes darkened upon hearing the sound of my innocent voice.

He grunted and pulled my hair. “Did you let anyone else touch your pussy?”

I shook my head. “Only you, Mr. Cullen.”


With no warning, Edward sank into my wet heat, inch by glorious inch. I screamed, writhing beneath him until he was completely sheathed. My husband was so big that I felt him in every part of my body. There was no way I’d ever be able to make love to another man because Edward had spoiled me for life.”

“Ung, Bella. So good. Did you, ungh, like touching yourself? Did you taste it?” He asked, pressing his fingers into my hip bones.

“No…no,” I stammered.

He helped me get on my knees so that he could go deeper. One of his big hands kneaded my milky breast as the other one began playing with my clit. The need to move my hands was so strong that I almost broke my arm.

“Fuck, babydoll. Easy,” he grunted, kissing me on the neck.

I lowered my head on the towel, keeping my lower body up for Edward. He spread my legs wider and continued to ram deep inside of me. I closed my eyes to savor the sensation. The cool breeze mixed with the warm sun made this the perfect setting for sex.

Pretty soon, my first orgasm hit me hard, curling my toes. Edward cursed and released my shackles. Then, he flipped me over, only pausing a minute before burying his girth back inside of me. Not only was he ten inches long, he was also very thick.

“Open your mouth,” He commanded, inserting his index finger inside. “Taste yourself. You taste so damn good. I had to share.”

My eyes glazed over as he pulled out, leaned down, and inserted his tongue where his manhood had just been. Dazedly, I tangled my fingers in his hair and tugged. Between slurps, he pinched my nipples. I was so close to coming again, but I needed him inside of me this time.

“Shit…. Ungh… Never like this before,” he mumbled, blowing on my nub.

I screamed, falling over the edge again. Edward didn’t stop, though. His tongue was just as talented as the rest of him. When I couldn’t think I could take anymore, he kissed my mound and crawled back up my body. I was more than ready, so he easily slid into my slick heat.

“Mine,” he grunted, pounding me into the warm sand.

“Yes!!! Yes!!! Oh, Edward,” I yelled, scratching my nails down his sweaty back.

With a mighty grunt, he emptied his spunk deep into my womb. After coming down, he rolled us so that I was on top of his chest. My body, soul, and mind were completely consumed with bliss. Without a care in the world, I drifted to sleep under the golden warmth of the sun.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Bella outnumbered chapter 3 Teaser- Chapter title: What a twat.

That night I shower and change into a blue strapless dress and silver heels. My hair is up and I have chosen to go without jewellery. That way Edward has complete access to neck should he want to kiss it.

I spent a great deal of time in the shower holding a razor and staring at my privates. I was debating whether or not to de-clutter the forest. If I did that was almost like giving myself license to indulge in potential baby making activities. In the end I trimmed the edges. I reasoned that this way, I wasn’t ruling out introducing Edward’s triple wrapped peen to my impatient woo-hoo.

I may need to refer to my list again.

New Banner for Bella outnumbered made by @Jaimearkin

The wonder Jaime Arkin made this banner for my story Bella outnumbered Link here. I love it and can't thank her enough for creating it for me.

I am currently writing chapter 3 and a teaser will be posted later tonight.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Squeeze My Lemon ~ Feb. 16

We are extremely excited to have CitizenCullen25 writing an outtake from her sequel to Like A Moth To A Flame:

The Friday Review

We were lucky enough to be introduced to Sarita when she offered to write an outtake from I Want It Painted Black as an entry for Squeeze My Lemon.

I have to admit, at the time, I hadn’t read the story. But after reading the outtake, I ran to read the whole story, which is still a work in progress.

I wasn’t disappointed.

She's not Bella; she's Izzy. She's broken on the inside but tough as nails on the outside. Izzy is as badass as they come, black hair, viperbites and a sexual appetite that can't be quenched.

That is until she meets a vampire named Edward, the ‘boyscout’. He’s

He’s there, never giving up, giving her peace without her even knowing. Then when they finally get together, fireworks and earthquakes. The outer hard shell of Izzy starts to crumble as the inside starts to heal.

Sarita writes a story that draws you in, following Izzy’s crazy antics and breaks your heart for her pain.

You get to hear Edward’s voice as well, giving you insights to the almost canon mind of Edward, secrets included.

But what will suck you in the most, the lemons: the hot, sensual, panty-wetter and the-go-find-your-significant-other lemons.

Throw in some trouble with drugs and drink, a psychotic vampire James, and a drug-dealing vampire Riley, and wait for the drama.

Oh, and did I forget to mention the kinky fuckery of Izzy’s and Edward’s D/s relationship? Just icing on the cake.

Make sure to take time to read this fic, you won’t be left disappointed.
Rating- One to watch

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Daily fandom round up.

So it seems Hollywood is abizz with news of an impending break-up for Rob and Kris. The 'sources' claim Kristen is seething with Jealousy over a co-star of Robert's. I'm going to call bull shit on this story. Especially as none of us know 100% the status of their relationship in the firt place.

In the fandom:
Here is a list of current award rounds.

 NominationsInspired FanFic Awards – ends Feb-04

The Vampies – ends Feb-06

Jacob Black-N-Pack Winter Awards – ends Feb-25

Fictionista Workshop Awards – ends Feb-28

The Hidden Star Awards – ends Mar-04

Open for VotingGolden Lemon Awards – ends Feb-07

Gem Awards: Jasper Round – ends Feb-11

Shimmer Awards: Snowflake Quarter – ends Feb-19

Inspired FanFic Awards – ends Feb-23

Open for VotingTwo Is Better Than One Contest – ends Feb-08

Eternal Romance Original Fiction Erotica Contest – ends Feb-13

TSA Twilight Hot Lemons Contest – ends Feb-13

Eat Your Heart Out Contest – ends Feb-14

Bathed in Black Contest – ends Feb-15

For the Love of Women Contest – ends Feb-21

For a full list of today's most important updates click on our Wayward pushers affliate button.

SheViking tweeted a teaser for My Viking today- I can NOT wait for an update. There is rumour of one on the weekend.

Our Friday review will be up tomorrow (what with it being Friday and all) make sure to check it out.

We have added several new affliates today. Please scroll down and take a look at the wonderful sites we support.

Thats all folks!

Business as usual.

The DCM news and other segments of the blog have been neglected this week due to personal matters, but will be back in full swing from today.


New from the DCM blog- Friday Review.

DCM are pleased to announce that from this friday onwards we will be reviewing a new fic and rating it. We love getting our hands on new work and new authors so if you are writing a fic or know of a fic that you think we should review, email us at: or PM us at FFN.

This weeks review will be carried out by Chartwilightmom.

Chellebelle583 is currently working on an archive so all reviewed and recc'ed fics can be easily found.


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Squeeze My Lemon ~ Feb 9 IS UP!

Squeeze My Lemon for 02.09.11 is now UP on ffn and TWCS! Go read, pants, change your panties and tell your friends.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Authors Needed!

Squeeze My Lemon is in a squeeze. We need authors. Please if you are interested in working on your lemon writing skills, contact us. We only need 2K. Come and squeeze please!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Squeeze My Lemon ~ Feb 9 Teaser

Squeeze Me Lemon Teaser for 02.09.11. Time to get wigglely in our seats with words from Elvirina: My blood was pounding in my veins and I was feeling a little overwhelmed. "Relax," he whispered and grasped me by the waist. I was defenseless when he lifted me to the bench and placed me there. "Spread your legs for me." I gasped, but strangely complied. I castigated myself for wearing a denim skirt, because that would hide about nothing right now. The hem of my skirt was digging into my thighs and restricting my movements. His eyes were penetrating mine when he with firm hands pushed my skirt up, so I could more easily straddle the bench. He produced a pair of black nightshades and placed them over my eyes. This made my breath quicken and my heart rate spike. Enclosed in darkness, I felt his expert hands at my left wrist where he unclasped my watch and his thumb kept rubbing over my veins.

"It is about the anticipation, gratification, expecting something when robbed of one of your most vital senses. I haven't even touched you and already your pulse is quickening," he paused. "Tell me you aren't the least bit excited about what I am going to do to you?" his voice was that velvet soft and seductive honey sound again. If he wanted, he could most likely take me…and I wasn't even into men.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Bella outnumbered chapter 2- The list is live!

Thee next chapter of my new story is up. Click here to read Your reviewss for the first chapter were great and they mean a lot.

I hope you enjoy the new one.


Review: My Viking by Sheviking.

Summary: Bella is captured by Vikings and brought with them to their home country where her new fate awaits. Can she ever find happiness being a slave? Will it make a difference that she is given to Edward to be his bed thrall? Rated M for old time lemons.

I have to confess that period fics of any nature are not my first choice when it comes to what I read. That was until I read this after seeing many recommendations on Twitter. The historical content is well researched and the writing is of the unusual standard we have come to expect from Sheviking. The characters are engaging and very believeable. I found myself in tears during the chapter where Edvard sends Bella out of his house to live in the communal area and takes Jutta as his bed thrall.

I have to say I was particualry impressed with how the author adapted the characters names to those of the Viking era and yet it is still very clear who she is bringing into the story.

The lemony content that you would expect to be reserved and old fashioned in nature with little to no pleasure for the woman is extremely, extremely hot. The scene in chapter eight is incredibly powerful, with both Edvard and Bella seemingly at the end of their tethers with their attraction to each other, is amazingly written and the the lemon that follows is both beautiful and ..well hot as all hell without being overly graphic.

I will even confess to reasearching Vikings after reading this to see how they treated the woman they took from different lands. The author has clearly done her own research and when you read, it is easy to picture the world in which Edvard and Bella live. I even hear the accents as I read.

I can't think of one negative thing about this story or any of its characters.

Overall this is a great read and if you are not one to read period fics I urge you to give this one a chance, you will not be disappointed. At dirtycheekymonkeys we cant wait to see what happens next in this unique and brilliant story.

Post your own comments on the story below or have a discussion in the social bar and tell us what you love about Edvard and My Viking.

Review written by @Chellebelle583

Fic rating- A must read for everyone!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Bella outnumbered is live!

New DCM story written by @Chellebelle583 is now live on ffn. click here to go straight to the story.

DCM daily fic and fandom news round up:

Not much to report on today. Twiitter has been quiet, the fandom in general is I think, very snowed under ;)

The Shimmer awards and Golden lemon awards are still taking votes so be sure to cast yours!

DCM's Chellebelle583 is posting a new story on the DCM FFn page very soon. Bella outnumbered posted it's first teaser today and is currently in the hands of the wonderful @Jaimearkin.

Look out for a review on My Viking by Sheviking coming up tomorrow and remember we will happily review and rec your story if it meets our criteria. All you need to do is hit our contact us tab and send us your story's link, banner and your twitter address.

That's all for today.


Teaser for Chapter 1 of new story Bella outnumbered written by DCM @Chellebelle583

He takes a deep breath and sits up straighter “I wish they were still together, but they aren’t and they never will be....especially now” he says the last bit in a voice that’s a little frightening if I’m honest.

“What significant thing has happened since our last session that makes you think this way?” I press.

“My dad’s an asshole” okay short and to the point. My ovaries are once again recoiling in horror at the thought of ever reproducing, but I go on anyway.

“So your father is the primary reason for your feelings this week?” I ask him.

“Yep, he’s a total asshole” I have a sudden vision of throwing my notebook at his head, my fingers grip said notepad tighter in case my subconscious tries to become my conscious.

“Yes I think we established the fact that you think your father is an ‘asshole’, what I need to know is why”

“I think he’s getting a new girlfriend” he tells me.

The kid is openly glaring at me. It’s not my fucking fault his father has found a new hole to stick it to.

Bella outnumbered-New story coming from DCM written by @Chellebelle583

Bella outnumbered is a new story that will begin posting in the next couple of days.

Catergory- Romance/humour.

Bella is a child psychologist, her job is great apart from one small detail- She hates children. Can divorced father of two Edward and his brood change her mind?

The blog will update with a teaser sometime today and we will also let you know when it is live.


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Squeeze My Lemon ~ Feb. 9

We are happy to have Elvirina writing for us for the Feb. 9 date. She has a bit of femme/slash for us and brought her own picture for her entry.

We need your lemons!

DCM is appealing for more authors for our Squeeze my lemon writing exercise. Are you a new author wanting to get feedback on your lemon writing skills? Scared of adding lemons to your story till you've had a little practice? Then this is perfect for you.

                  click here to be taken to the DCM FFn page for more info and to PM us any questions.

Red Devil chapter 14-Hearing Damage posted today.

DCM is very happy to be posting Red  Devil again and with the second update in less then a week I hope you can see that we are by no means letting this fic go. click here to read!

Daily fandom round up.

Hey everyone,

We are very nearly finished with the blog re construction and I hope you will all enjoy the changes.

Many fics have updated today including two from DCM, Red Devil and Squeeze my lemon.

Twitter has been rife today with speculation about Kristen playing Lois Lane in the new Superman film. Do you think this would be a good film for to be a part of?

Tom Sturridge has also spoken out in an interview about bestie Robert Pattinson. Link here

Don't forget time is running out for voting in the golden Lemons and shimmer awards. Visit for links.

Thats it for today.

Squeeze My Lemon ~ Feb 2 IS UP!

Squeeze My Lemon for 02.02.11 is up! Go read and pant and change your panties!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

DCM is now going to be recc'ing and reviewing.

We love fic here at DCM and the hotter the better. We are going to be using the blog and Twitter to push stories that capture our imagination. If that story is yours contact me @Chellebelle583 or @Chartwilightmom to put your fic forward.

The first review will be coming tomorrow and will be looking at My Viking by Sheviking.

DCM daily fic and fandom news round up:

Many excellent fics have updated today, click on the Wayward pushers affliate button to find out if your fave is one of them.

Twilightficzone is now accepting entries for their We heart it OS compettion. - click here for more info.

Robert pattinson has apparently caused a stir by keeping his wedding ring on whilst on the set of Breaking Dawn. Here at DCM we are rolling our eyes at the fact this is even news. It's a prop people!!

Peter Facinelli tweets the weather on the breaking dawn set is extremely cold. No shit.

DCM have posted a teaser for Red Devil today and can tell you the chapter is now in the hands of our beta.

We are looking for more affliates. Can you help, do you have your own blog? Contact us via one of the buttons on the sidebar.

Have more news for us @Chellebelle583 on twitter and I will post it on our blog.

Blog revamp

Welcome to the new and even sexier Dirtycheekymonkeys blog. We have a lemon writing playlist, Rob pics and much more.

Use the social bar at the top to tell us what you think!


Red Devil teaser for chapter 14-Hearing Damage. Song- Hearing damage by Thom Yorke

I have heard enough and apparently so has my dick ‘someone else has dared to plunder our lands, Edward.’ He’s loading a glock and putting tiny knives into the waistband of his penis trousers, fucker means business and I am right there with him.

I waste no more time and burst through her door.

She’s alone, at her computer, watching.....hold the fuck up.

Is that two dudes fucking?